How Not to Inflate Like a Balloon in America

All of my European girlfriends tell me they like to come to America for at least a week a year because by the time they leave their breasts have increased almost a cup size. Thanks to the hormones which are ubiquitous in meat and dairy products I have noticed that many Americans look like they have been hooked up to a bicycle pump and inflated like balloons But these people are in no danger of floating away.

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The balloon-look is less common in Manhattan where most people are conscious about food-sourcing and the women are obsessed by being thin and fit enough to compete in Manhattan society. The social x-rays Tom Wolfe wrote about in Bonfire of the Vanities are still here but, I have noticed an increasing ‘puffiness’ of the average girl I pass on the street.   And, I note more and more men with ‘moobs’ – for those of you who don’t know already – this means ‘man boobs’. Yikes! However, the saddest sight is young children, waddling around like dimpled pillows as they carry baggies filled with processed, puffed-up artificial food coated in chemically flavored powder. I have to stop myself from approaching the parents. Continue reading

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