I went through a rough patch recently and like a typical American I reached for some self-help. I grappled with books on Buddhism, spirituality, religion, mysticism, Deepak Chopra (my favorite man and curiously, endlessly prolific), Eckhart Tolle, Pema Chodron etc. I underlined, highlighted, took notes, meditated and did a lot of yoga. But one of the best summer-uppers I found on how to feel peaceful was in a book by Dr. Wayne Dyer – a biggie in the world of self-development.
This site is about anti-aging and health but I realize I have largely overlooked the arena of mental health and spirituality which has a significant impact on how we age and evolve. If we are stressed and angry we age more quickly, become sick and can be infertile. In life, we are taught to buy expensive creams, cars, clothes and go to the gym to look good but we have overlooked training our minds. We can all be sorcerers, witches, and deities if we learn to control our thoughts and direct them. We can re-vitalize our bodies and our health with our mind. You must think of your mind as a muscle you must learn to flex daily in new directions for rejuvenation and peace.
I am happy I read all of those books because I will now consciously try to teach my child how to think and to be aware of the words which she chooses .. I am still quite overwhelmed by all that I am learning so I thought I would let Dr. Wayne Dyer talk to you directly through my notes on his book. I read these every morning and try very hard to stick to them though I am still re-booting my hard-drive from its deeply ingrained foundation!
10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace
Have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing. Sell your cleverness and purchase bewilderment. Refuse to have low expectations about what you are capable of creating. Spontaneous healing often requires a complete reversal of personality. If your thoughts are filled with doubt you will see proof of that doubt everywhere without fail. See that every cubic inch of space as a miracle. The need to be right means you are fulfilling your conditioned reflex. Peaceful thoughts = peaceful emotions. Being attached to being right promises a life of striving but never arriving. Infinite patience produces immediate results. Say to yourself: I’m never looking for anything to be offended by.
Progress is impossible if you always do things the way you’ve always done them.
Be attached nowhere – as if I can’t have or do this or that, then somehow I’m going to become immobilized. Never make your happiness or success dependent on anything, any place or anyone. Love a person for what they are not what you think they should be.
Stay open-minded and detached.
You can’t give away what you don’t have. No person who is occupied with doing a difficult thing and doing it well ever loses self-respect. Thoughts are attractor energies… What you think is what you will bring to yourself. Think: love, kindness, peace, joy- and you’ll get it back via the law of attraction. If squeezed or put under pressure what comes out of you proves what is inside… You cannot expel what is not in you… You will find purpose if you can always find a way to be in service to others. Gimme gimme gimme vs. how can I serve? Stop taking life so personally. Nothing is personal. Tame your ego and take nothing personally. Turn your attention from getting to giving and the Universe responds to what we send out.
There are no justified resentments. God does not command that we do great things, only little things with great love. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. Anytime you are filled with resentment you are turning the controls of your emotional life over for others to manipulate. Leave blame behind in your life or go home with nothing. Never assign responsibility to anyone for what you are experiencing. If you can ‘own it’ you have a chance to remove from your life whatever is troubling you. If you blame someone then you must wait until they change it for you in order to get better. Send the higher, faster energies of love, peace, joy, forgiveness and kindness as your response to whatever comes your way. Difficult, certainly, but worth the outcome. De-personalize offense, respond with kindness. Be kind versus right. If you are going to pursue revenge than you had better dig two graves. Resentments will destroy you. Stop looking for reasons to be offended. What others think of me is none of my business. Become a person who refuses to be offended by anything or anyone. Speak your mind but let go. Not being offended is a way of saying, I have control over how I am going to feel and I choose to feel peaceful regardless of what is going on. Offense is a way of judging. When you stop judging, you are an observer. And a peaceful person attracts peaceful energy. When you respond to hatred with hatred you become a part of the problem (hatred) and not the solution – love.
The snakebite doesn’t kill. It’s the venom
Don’t die with the music still in you. There is just one life for each of us: our own. Your life is not my business. A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he be at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be. When you are born, your work is placed in your heart. You must have shown up here for a reason. What is your purpose? You know you are off purpose when you are frustrated. Don’t always listen to the left brain – in charge of admin. Listen to the artist in the right… Do not end up on your deathbed asking: what if my whole life has been wrong? If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away. There are only 2 basic emotions: fear and love. Say to yourself: Fear knocks at my door but love answered and there was no one there. If you can meet triumph and disaster and treat these two imposters just the same – yours is the earth and everything in it. Triumph and disaster exist only in your mind. They are not real.
Embrace silence. Meditate. The practice builds immunity to a hostile world. The peace you feel after meditation ensures that an aggressive current is greeted with a smile and an inner knowing that it is not your stuff. A person who tries to bring you into their misery cannot without your agreement. Meditation will keep you from the soul sickening misery. Stay immune. It has been proved that being in the energy fields of those who meditate raises the serotonin levels of the observers. Your peaceful state can impact those around you. Find answers in daily silence. If you are feeling troubled, go immediately, alone, into nature. Nature is the source. Listen consciously to the birds, insects, the wind. Free your feet from shoes and walk barefoot. Do not divulge to others the private insights you wish to make in your moment of silence as otherwise you will feel compelled to explain them and then – the ego appears and manifesting stops. Silence is where manifesting occurs.
Give up your personal history. Here lies my past. Goodbye, I have kissed it. Thank you – I wouldn’t have missed it. If we could say to ourselves with sincerity: The passing moment is as good as any I shall know, we could die upon the instant and be united with the universe. The wake does not drive the boat. It is just a trail left behind. Give it up. Let it go. Stop being a victim of your personal history. Stop bonding with your past. Don’t feed the drama or replay the film. The past had to happen and cannot un-happen. Accept it and move on with a straight back and a smile. Fake it ’til you make it and you will convince yourself in the process. All you can get is right NOW. Remove the labels of your personal history. Be reborn every moment. You are a child again and all is new and fresh – especially you. Don’t let the past (which lies awake only in your mind) muddy the waters of your present.
Treat yourself as if you already were what you would like to become. Become inspired (i.e. in spirit). First say to yourself what you would be and then do what you have to do to get there. It is necessary for the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself. Visualize yourself as you would like to be in as much detail and as often as possible. With your friends and family – catch them doing things right and remind them of their innate brilliance, their fantastic abilities, their talents and their capacity for being responsible. When you treat them as if they are great and kind they will be. Celebrate others’ finest qualities. See people as loving and supportive and they will be. Place energy on what you intend to manifest and you will see those intentions materializing. What you think expands. Become more mindful about what you think about.
You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it. Any man can make mistakes but only an idiot persists in his error. Any path is only a path, and there is no affront to oneself or to others in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you. You don’t have a problem, you only think you do. Problems are usually based in ego. Let your spirit cancel your ego. You are your thoughts. If you think you have problems then you will. Since you cannot ever be anyone but yourself never presume you know anyone else perfectly. Your assumptions about them are your thoughts. But you make your thoughts reality through your egocentric belief in them. Change your thoughts. Things/people are as they are for a reason. Everything is unfolding as it should. Have faith in life. Become an instrument of peace with your thoughts. Man becomes great exactly to the degree to which he works for the welfare of his fellow man. Change from ego thoughts and herd mentality to a higher level of mysticism. There is no remedy for love but to love more.
Treasure your divinity. In the faces of men and women I see god, divinity. There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. We are all connected to source: what digests our food, what open the flowers -runs through me. Your ego tells you that you’re separate from everything that is missing in your life and so you must spend a great deal of energy chasing after what is missing. It keeps you in a constant state of worry, fear, anxiety and stress. It implores you to be better than everyone, it separates you from your own divinity. An Indian saint was asked by a western reporter: “Are you God?” The Indian responded without hesitation: “yes I am.” And after a brief pause added: “And so are you. The only difference is that I know it and you doubt it.” We are all divine. Act like it.
Wisdom is avoiding all thoughts which weaken you. Nothing is unless our thinking makes it so. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create that fact. Every thought computes to either strengthen or weaken us. Thoughts can even affect our physical functioning. The thought that makes people the weakest is shame which results in humiliation. Forgive yourself and move on. After shame, apathy thoughts can make you the weakest as they create despair. They stem from self-pity and a need to be entertained continually in order to avoid boredom. Let your mind be a kingdom of limitless potential. Fear and anger also weaken us. These thoughts invite you to stay immobilized. If paralyzed think: I don’t know how to deal with this but I am connected to the force in this universe. I opt to move my ego out of the way and turn this issue over to the forces of the universe. Shift away from blame to loving and trusting others and you will become strong. What you think about is the source of your experience of reality. We become what we think about all day long. The mind is a powerful tool in creating a better or worse reality as well as better/worse health. The most empowering thoughts are: peace, joy, love, acceptance and willingness. Make a choice to be in charge of your thoughts. This is wisdom.
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